86 The Cowboy

Way Past Sunset, Sitting in the dark with the sound turned down listening to him breathe looking up at every pause, watching the endless procession of old western movies channel 86 is running this month, wondering how did they know, do they know the cowboy dieing in this room grew up, never grew up, watching them all. He never said so but john Wayne was probably one of his heroes. The Duke could only wish he was as tough as this little big man, withered now next to nothing, still too strong to die and too far gone to live. Struggling more with the medicine than the pain it was supposed to relieve. He always liked the action and had no time for the sappy romance, "back to the war" he would say. Wars were more his style, he went off to and came back from three. Now he is in a battle he won't win and for some unknown reason doesn't even get a chance to fight. The fighting is being done by others, for against and around him. Here in the dark lit by the flickering screen are some of the hardest and at the same time most satisfying hours. The job at this time of night is clear and direct, keep him comfortable and don't let him fall out of bed. No need to worry about the troublemakers, they stay clear during these late long nights. Watching these old movies it occurs to me that most of the actors good guys and bad are probably already dead. He should be, but he's not, he shouldn't have, but he has outlived them all. As another flick ends and they ride off into the sunset I know he will not be far behind and something also tells me it will be way past sunset when he goes